i open my mouth 

and / swallow 

masses like curses / like God / like things that convince me / 

they’re one and the same. how fitting is it that green / the color 

of life / is also the color of envy? / i want 

to be a loveless thing. i am jealous of loveless things. and 

actually, / i want to be a lifeless thing, but i am 

a heretic and so i believe we are / one and the same. / he says 

you’re gorgeous / i say i’m lukewarm religious. / i say how can you still look at me like i’m a thing to be saved? / and he says you know God 

won’t hold it against you tonight if you pray and i / laugh 

in his face. / i want to burn 

down like notre dame. / but i still capitalize His name. 

i say lilith’s hand in mine makes me feel taller than that 

tower 

of 

babel 

could have ever stood. / but he’s gone already / 

like curses / like God / like men 

that convince me they’re one and the same. / 

i open my mouth and / swallow black fleece / like 

the sheep that ran away from the flock / because she felt like they were 

wolves. / but what if she was wrong? / no—perhaps the scarier question is: / what if she was right? / i say priest, / father, if this heals then why does it hurt? / he says it hurts the things it’s supposed to. / i say you mean the people 

it’s supposed to 

he hesitates. He hesitates. he says 

it hurts the demons 

it’s supposed to. / and i think oh, / like me / like Eve / like the fruit 

that convinces me we’re one and the same. 

i open my mouth and / swallow 

forbidden flesh.