immortalise me

i want to live beyond the obvious

beyond my bodily existence 

where the sun doesn’t set and love doesn’t die 

now, 

as despair is stitched to my skin 

the strings breaking with each tug 

dreams, moth-eaten and stale

my heart reeks of blood and you 

you sleep inside me 

prison bars around me, handcuffs hugging my wrist 

days pass by in a blur 

as i try hard to give a meaning to it all

living in bad faith 

in a rotten world full of vile injustices 

maybe we exist to die, or

maybe we die to exist 

i don’t know which 

but, 

i want to rise 

beyond the abstract, beyond the absurd 

i want to embrace the bleak emptiness 

that rings through my heart

am i valid after i die? 

immortalise me 

i don’t want to live